Going It Alone to The Floating World

By Indigo

This weekend was my first play event without my partner. My famous leather lover was off at a contest in San Francisco and left me in the protective care of a close friend at my first event as a single player, thanks to Polyamory! I had heard only good things about The Floating World but as I thought about going by myself I was getting more nervous and more stuck in my head about it. I got so panicked at one point I thought to myself ‘maybe I’m not kinky, maybe I don’t know how to be without my partner’ (as you can tell, the mind can be a dangerous neighborhood!). I came into the scene about two years ago with Sara and never knew what it was like to go it alone. As Sara’s submissive, I have become very accustom to allowing Sara to approach prospective players and initiate hot scenes so I knew this weekend would be a learning experience for me.

My first Friday class was just what I needed to get the weekend started off right. Simon, a fellow kinkster and a dear friend, taught a discussion based class called Kinky Communication (How To Avoid Being Tiresome and Needy and Get What You Want) that helped me walk away with several tips on initiating a scene:

Some of these tips I already knew but to be reminded of them at the beginning of an event gave me the confidence I needed to be in communication about the type of play I am interested in without the assistance of my partner. This class helped me to begin to formulate what I wanted to get out of the weekend and to be open to experiencing my kinky self in whole new way.

Then, in one of Iganicio’s classes I had an epiphany. I was in the front row of their panel discussion on Boundaries when they said something that stuck with me. They were talking about a period of time when they were in a relationship and found it difficult to think outside of their relationship unit which meant their limits and boundaries where determined solely by the conditions of the couple dynamic. I realized that was exactly what was happening with my psyche: I spend so much time thinking about what is best for my relationship and put very little time or effort into creating what I want from my play outside my partner. I’m a title holder’s service girl and struggle to think outside of that role when reflecting on my place in the BDSM and Leather community. But I am also an individual who wants to express my sexual desires and the brilliant thing about being polyamorous is the fact that I can fulfill on those fantasies with others.

After these epic realizations, my head clear and my confidence high, The Floating World had officially begun! I demo bottomed for two classes: Goddess Roze’s TitToture class, where I withstood a nice breast beating and Dr. Ruthie’s Deep Kissing: The Art of Giving Blow Jobs, where I stepped into my top space and got a killer blowjob. I performed my poetry and became a unicorn (yes, a unicorn) in FloatingWreck! A Drag Show and Cabaret hosted by Traniwreck and received much love and feedback in response to my work. I developed a new top persona, Ms. Sir and learned not only do I love to receive staples but I love to give them as well. And I tried my first needle, which was scary, surreal and amazing, thanks to very close friends who helped walk my through the experience.

By the time I prepared for my nightly phone calls with my partner, I had so much to tell her I didn’t even know where to start! The Floating World was a wonderful event; the classes where exceptional and it was amazing to surrounded by such a supportive, open group of kinky folks. I learned so much about myself this weekend. I learned how to articulate what I want from my play and take a risk by asking for what I want from others. Going to an event by myself no longer seems as scary as it once was and at this rate, I can’t wait for what lies ahead at my next, independent lady adventure. Stay tuned!