Bodhisattva Warrior, which means attaining enlightenment but foregoing nirvana to help others, is a level of perfection that is far beyond my reaches and understanding to grasp. I view submission as working on imperfections but being accepted for who I am in the now. My submission rarely reaches perfection. There is always something I can work on; if there wasn’t I would be concerned the relationship is dead. The concept of Bodhisattva Warrior, which really connects to my Dominant side, is something that I apply to Dominants in general about helping their submissives.
The now, which means living presently and being aware, is a major goal in Buddhism. It’s not expecting someone to reach their full potential immediately but we look to, in this lifestyle, our Dominant to reach some expectations. There is a need of patience, love (generosity), to have the effort and energy for a relationship (exertion and meditation), to hold someone accountable (discipline), and to have a balanced life and fair opinion (prajna). In an odd twist of words these six qualities is what a Bodhisattva Warrior strives to obtain before making his or her vows. I’m not stating that I expect a godlike Dominant but more of the Teacher/student beliefs that we see over time with yogis, philosophers, and in meditation courses the ones with more knowledge and wisdom teach the beginners.
I struggle with discipline. It’s a hard path to stay on, I think the saying that you are your own worst critic resonates in me; my inability to wake up at 5 am to do meditation every morning brings on guilt. When it comes to submission, and presently I am in my submissive state with meditation, I am a people-pleaser. I don’t try to be the utmost outstanding submissive, I don’t bring attention to myself, but a “look”, or wooden stick as the older meditation teachers would use in the east, would quickly bring me back to my seat or path. Not being able to afford my own personal stick-welding Buddhist teacher I become my disciplinarian, holding myself to personal rules and expectations, and realizing that my practice helps my functionality.
Meditation and discipline, which leads me to reach the other expectations in my life, does not always exist for me on a cushion or in a book. It comes to me in practice in both the spiritual sense and in my submission. Both of which are sometimes the same. To hold off the guilty feelings of not always being on my cushion at 5:31 a.m. is being gentle in submission. At the same time that discipline, which I sometimes lack, also allows the ability to focus on a task that I know will make a Dominant happy.
In the meditative-state of submission there are certain expectations in service subbing and house cleaning. Routines that are built-in, usually quietly, allow me to focus on the present and the now. When things go wrong employing patience and generosity to a Dominant is a service anyone can do. If we look at Old Guard, which is sometimes viewed as overly strict and restrictive, all these expectations, especially silence, is a common theme in rules of that era and structure.
Silence is something that isn’t frowned upon in Buddhism. The Buddha sat underneath a tree for forty-nine days, in silence, just focusing on the present. It’s not an extreme that would I take, and not something that is really supported in Buddhism at this point as the “way” to enlightenment, but it’s self-discipline. A Dominant can only dictate so much before the submissive needs to make some effort in reaching the potential and expectations. To remember that it really is your own journey makes anything from Buddhism to a power exchange more enlightening and rewarding.
Being present for the whole day is more of a struggle, but more genuine, making it more rewarding. I’ve had expectations in past relationships on times that will go to bed and when I will wake up. I have had routines built-in; meditative to the point of being able to focus on the task at end with no stray, and patience of knowing that what I am doing is going to reach a favorable result. It creates my own prajna and usually from someone who is significantly older than myself. To my readers, I hope you live in the now for the following month, and have meditative and insightful journeys in your Dominance and submission.
Namaste.
well-written. it seems that “submissive” has become a catch-all for doing anything that benefits others, even though we should always strive to live a life outside of ourselves. i like the dynamic of dominance and submission for its reliance on interplay; you cannot have one without the other, after all.
I agree with the interplay. I believe that there is a dominance and submissive side to any person. It’s more of what role that takes. In my role right now I’m both a student in Buddhism and the submissive in my relationships. However that can also be switched role depending on which role you are taking. I do think that people label it too quickly since Dominants do things that benefit for others but in the case of where I’m speaking, at least in this entry, I’m viewing it from the submissive spot.