I presented a class on BDSM, Sex, and the Law: Consent and Beyond at the New England Dungeon Society last Friday, subtitle: “when things go horribly wrong.” Because the truth is, “The Law” doesn’t get involved unless things do go horribly wrong. In fact, some might say that getting “The Law” involved is the very definition of things […]
What we call magic markers in North America, Australians call Textra. Have no doubt, though: Alrene Textaqueen makes magic with felt tipped pens. Textaqueen loves markers and she loves her fierce queer community. She’s spent the past ten years drawing women and genderqueer folk “un-dressed-up” in her series of portraits entitled Textranudes. Textaqueen’s work feels […]
Keeping a sexual connection in a long term relationship is not a given, but with some intention and self-awareness, I believe it’s possible. In some ways, I think it’s a choice to believe that it’s possible—I am invested in loving someone over a long period of time, and I want it to be possible. I […]
Language is something that is constantly fascinating to me. The way we use it, the way it shapes us, the way we can choose to shape it. Language is particularly fascinating when it comes to “sex work”. The term sex worker can be polarizing, both within the sex work community and outside of it. There […]
Social support networks are crucial for both parents and sexual minority groups. In the studies I’ve created and contributed to, over and over, we can see the detrimental effects of isolation and invisibility. We, as hyper-social beings, need to see ourselves reflected in the actions of others. We need that reverb to let us know […]
One thing I vividly remember from my youth is the fervor with which my mother collected Lladró…and I just didn’t get it. I wasn’t the sort that liked dolls and dress-up (though I do now), so I could not understand what it was about these porcelain sculptures that she liked so enjoyed. If my mother […]
Glossy fetish models in magazines always look perfect, but anyone who has had experience in a very physical scene understands the reality. Instead of the flawless face, you end up with running mascara, sweaty brow, and smeared lipstick. Working up a sweat can be a rewarding feeling, putting your full effort into connecting with your […]
One of the most common questions polyamorous people get from our monogamous friends and family is about jealousy. Don’t we ever experience jealousy? How do we handle the green-eyed monster when we do? So for the record, yes, poly people do sometimes experience jealousy. I suspect we get jealous about as often as monogamous people […]
Panties. Bloomers. Thongs. Girdles. Briefs. Knickers. There are many names for the articles that those of the feminine persuasion don under their clothing. Lady’s undergarments have almost always been a thing of legend, from the corsets and bloomers of old to the (frequently sung about) peek-a-boo thong of today. The conversation varies from naughty innuendo […]
Much has been written about how a Dominant/Top should care for their submissive/bottom during the evolution of a scene. Concerns over possible abuse, inaccurate techniques and unsafe surroundings have been discussed, lectured and written about to no end. As the dominant ones, we are told it is our mandatory responsibility, for all our encounters, to […]