One of the things that each marginalized community needs to work on learning is that we must support our allies in other communities, in order to ask them to support us. As a member of several marginalized communities, as well as a staunch ally to others, it so saddens me when I see the division […]
Often I have wondered if the way I touch someone has been physically and emotionally perceived as I intended it. Was the touch received as gentle when I meant it to be firm? Was the touch received as intimate when I meant it to be casual? It’s hard, really, to practice touch. There are so […]
Accidents happen. One moment you are enjoying yourself and the next you’ve landed a bruise or welt in the wrong spot, somewhere public and you’ve got work the next day. You have a few options, make up a creative but believable excuse, call in sick, or learn how to camouflage and cover up the mistake. […]
I get asked a lot about how to go about dating a parent. Like we’re some kind of different species of intimate partner. The conversation sounds similar to when I tell people I have a food allergy. So how do you eat? I have kids, how do you date? Well, I’ve got dating figured out […]
I was running late to church which, as far as I’m concerned, is one of the more horrible feelings of tardiness. Because of my late arrival I had to park far away in the adjunct parking lot which is really just a grassy field and hiked in at a fast clip wearing heels. At least […]
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will […]
All-or-nothing…compromise…all-or-nothing…compromise. So beat the political drum for decades, with both parties electing theirs on all-or-nothing platforms, but most legislation happening as a result of compromise. But you cannot help but notice that talk of compromise is at an all-time low, at least on the national stage. In Massachusetts on the other hand, if you look […]
Any discussion of fashion usually revolves around women. Specifically, fashions only women are supposed to wear, be interested in or care about. Even if men are the ones leading the discussion, it is almost always centered on women’s wear. During Fashion Week we only see or hear about shows that depict women’s wear. Fashion seems […]
We’ve all inherited many misconceptions about the erotic, causing so much fear and guilt. Some are based on old taboos; others on unrealistic expectations. They are like demons hovering over us, heckling and harassing us. And they’re not as easy to get rid of as we’d like, especially when you’re not quite sure what they […]
I had a stranger on Facebook — one who looked to be a conservative Christian by the profile — ask me, “What exactly is sexology and why do we need to study it? Is there some purpose for it? Most people know how to have babies. Just trying to understand.” It was an important and […]