Can one be Catholic and kinky? Ok, maybe a Catholic is necessarily kinky given the priestly garments, perfumes and oils, church kneelers – not to mention the hierarchy of power. Or, perhaps being kinky necessarily excludes one from Catholicism. The teachings on sexuality may merely be too rigid.
Whatever you think, there is at least one Catholic kinky person: yours truly. Actually, I know quite a number of practicing Catholics – i.e., believers in the Trinity (Father/Creator, Son/Redeemer, and Holy Spirit/Sanctifier), disciples of Jesus Christ (trying to love God with all their heart, soul and strength … and their neighbors as themselves), adherents to Church teaching (this does not mean blind obedience!), etc. – who identify themselves as kinky as well (e.g., dominant females, submissive males, bondage enthusiasts, fetishists, etc.).
I’ve been Catholic my entire life, though I did not really embrace the faith until my high school years. I’ve been fortunate enough to study theology (the word means the study of God) for many years and earn two graduate degrees in the process. I’ve talked with hundreds of people about faith and sexuality as well. So I come from a positive perspective, happy to be Catholic.
I have also always known myself to be kinky, though I did not use the term until after college at some point. I greatly enjoy being a service submissive, but I am happy to take on dominant roles as well. I’m happy to be kinky. That has not always been the case, of course. Like any life journey, there have been numerous doubts and fears… So, I tell you a bit of who I am so that you know my starting point.
Why do I write this monthly column? I simply want to share theological reflections on my experience (and that of others), to help you insofar as you are seeking help. I also hope to give you food for thought in the areas of theology and sexuality. Contrary to common thought, I believe that it is quite possible to live a healthy Catholic and kinky life. I, however, do not have any desire to convert you to Catholicism. I have no interest in defending the Church, especially against legitimate critiques about abuses of power, problems with teachings on sexuality, etc. Like anything in life, use what you find most helpful in this column, and let go of the rest.
This article was originally posted on June 3, 2010
Hi! Just wanted to thank you for writing this! It’s made me feel a lot better about myself, as a Catholic girl who suspects she’s a sub and/or a pet at heart. Thanks for alleviating some of my fears!