In the early stages of our relationship, my lover and I decided to have a few mentoring sessions at the Kink Academy. We’re both kinky, and we wanted to learn how to bring our kinks into our relationship in a satisfying & fun way. We were having difficulties defining what we wanted because, deep down, I was afraid that my lover would reject me for some of the things I wanted. My fears made it hard for us to communicate, not to mention figure out what we both wanted.
Have you ever felt this way?
It can be difficult to decide what would feel good – and not just in your sex life, but in general – especially when you add in fears around admitting to and owning your ideas and desires.
Have you spent your life feeling unaligned with mainstreams ideas about what your life should look like, but still aren’t sure about what would work?
That’s exactly what had happened to me: I knew I wanted something different, but I wasn’t sure how to get it. I didn’t fit in with mainstream, and I felt like there was something wrong with me because I was different. The end result? I often felt frustrated and unsatisfied.
That sucked! So, I set out on a grand adventure to discover what my kick-ass life would be. Fast forward 8 years – now I’m living a deeply satisfying life with the freedom and flexibility to be my freaky self and I’m receiving all the abundance the Universe has to offer. That’s my kick-ass life!
Funny thing; I discovered that the Kink Academy. advice to my lover and I was similar to the advice I give my clients when they want to create a life that gives them the freedom and flexibility to be their freaky selves:
- It’s your world – you deserve to have as much fun and pleasure as you desire in the way that feels good to you.
- Have fun, play, and explore.
- Learn what works for you and leave the rest behind.
- Recognize and release the stories and beliefs that keep you from exploring and embracing this part of you.
- It’s all good if it feels good to you.
Think of it like this: life is a big buffet with all kinds of choices. Fill your plate with the things that look good and try them out. Then, go back for more of what you liked – and forget the stuff you didn’t.
Enjoy the buffet!
Originally posted September 28, 2010