by Mako Allen

One of my favorite Lao-tzu quotes is “A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent upon a destination.” That’s good advice for travelers and for kinky people too. I think that the notion of “fixed plans” speaks to both judgment and expectation. We’ve all heard judgments before like “spanking is great, but I’d never want to be whipped.” Expectations are just judgments that haven’t happened yet.